Look up coward in the dictionary…

September 11th, 2006 at 12:01 pm

I’m sorry for the lack of updates. It’s been months but I’ve been really busy lately and as always questioning my purpose. I don’t know why I go on with all this pointless rambling and for that I am so sorry…

All I’ve got to say today is how stupid I’ve been. I try and not be so hard on myself, but… I can’t help it. Honestly, I can’t.

I’m a fool. That’s all I am.

I’m a stupid, hopeless fool who doesn’t deserve to take another breath. I don’t deserve this life given to me, so why do I continue living as I do? It’s because I’m not only a fool but a coward. I should rid myself of this planet and do the world a favor, but I’m too weak to even attempt suicide. What a sorry excuse for a human being… Why did I try to cheer up my mother this afternoon? Why did I visit Tohru again last weekend without an invitation? Why can’t I think before I do something? I’m so foolish! Why can’t I do anything right?

I don’t even understand how you can even read this entry when all I’m doing is being a pain. There is no point to the the things I say or what I write. I’m worthless and I always will be. I apologize for wasting your precious time with this post. If only I had the courage to kill myself, then I wouldn’t be a bother to you anymore…

7 Responses to “Look up coward in the dictionary…”


Kyumi
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:24 am

the real reason why i’m sending this to you because i came here for you, and only you. otherwise i wouldn’t be writing to you at this very second. but everysecond that i have with with people i love, i cherish it. i enjoy being with you. I love you! muah!


Kyumi
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:27 am

oh and your not ridding the world of your existence, but you make my life complete. without you, there really is no point of living is there? I did atempt suicide, but i was cowardly and stopped. i realized that i would like to spend every single moment with you. even if they are my last moments.


magenta
August 17th, 2007 at 11:25 am

You shouldn’t want to kill yourself. You are loved by many people and no one is perfect. There is no reason to apologize for everything, you’re fine. And you’re a very handsome man. When you’re comfortable try wearing men’s clothes with your hair in a ponytail or something and I think you’ll feel better about yourself. I hope you feel better and more confident. :) You’re my friend even though i don’t know you


Hiki (Lixa)
November 23rd, 2007 at 2:58 am

You’re not a pain.

You’re my favourite person in the world.

^_^

I am so happy that you haven’t committed suicide.

<3 Please stay <3

PS. I think you’d look good in men’s clothes, but I like how you look in women’s clothes ^_^ You look like a cute little girl in your kimono :D I’d glomp you but … ^_^


Samantha
December 6th, 2007 at 9:03 pm

Ritsu you are not worthless i adore you! i wish more men were like you. please dont kill yourself!

p.s i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s.s you look nice in a womans kimono so ignore what everyone else says!

lots of love Samantha


ayamesohma
January 30th, 2008 at 1:13 am

hey i happen to think that you look just as good in girl clothes as ayame, but please just be yourself.


Shigure
September 7th, 2008 at 9:13 am

You are so pathetic IM surprised you havn’t thrown your computer out the window yet….KIDDING! this is more fun than teasing my editor…. weird…First knocking at the door now I hear a chain saw starting-oh no…

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