It has been awhile since I updated, huh? Well, I can say this much: Nothing much has happened. Except that I finally went to go apply for college. Like I said in my last entry, Kazuma persuaded me to go. I mean, I have nothing better to do right now (besides avoiding Haru). So college should keep me pretty busy, right? But I probably won’t go to classes that often. Well, maybe just the art classes. The rest of the classes are pointless and I already know half of the stuff they’re teaching.
I went to see Haru the other day. I don’t think he knew I was watching from the trees off in the distance. I missed him so much that I just had to go see him again. I made sure that I was very well hidden within the trees. He looked so! Handsome like always. It took me all my strength to keep myself from running into his arms, but it’s better this way – Not for me, but for him. This is the only way I can protect him from any harm that I may cause him. Being off in the distance… Alone and isolated. It’s better this way for everyone. Everyone else seems to be happy and bright, while I’m just… While I’m just hiding in the shadows. I deserve this.
There’s nothing to do.
My hand is shaking from drawing so much and even though I try to help around the house, Kunimitsu won’t hear of it. I don’t feel like eating, and I can’t get to sleep.
Kazuma noticed the air of boredom surrounding me, and gave a few suggestions – most of which including Tohru. I told him I didn’t want to see her.
“I’d probably just lash out at her in the mood I’m in,” I said.
He smiled and chuckled slightly, saying, “Oh, so you’re worried about her?”
“Hell no—” I began to protest, then I looked to Kazuma and saw he had a contemplative expression on his face.
“You could go back to school. Start college, I mean. You missed so much of it when you were in the hospital. You could major in art. Your drawings look very professional,” he said.
This…actually sounded like a good idea. Then I realized something. “Wait a minute. You’ve seen my draw—?!” but he was already gone.
So, some time soon I’ll be attending college – somehow Kazuma persuaded me so easily. Just like that.