True Beauty
August 18th, 2006 at 9:39 am | Comments (10) |
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Akito visited today.
The event caused me relief and pain at the same time. I hate seeing her cry, but the way she acted during her visit! I think it’s a good sign. Maybe what happened was a good thing after all. (As sad as that may sound.)
I’m still not sure what happened between her and Tohru Honda, but Akito! wouldn’t stop apologizing to me. All I could do for her was put my hand on top of her head and let my fingers sift through her hair.
I’ve been wondering if things were different between the two of us, if circumstances had changed! if maybe I really would’ve fallen in love with her. Despite the anger, the yelling, the hurt she’s inflicted on others! to see her today! Akito’s no longer that sad, lonely girl I held in my arms almost every night at bedtime. She’s becoming a woman. I’m sure Shigure-niisan must have seen it, too. He’s always seen it.
Akito is becoming very beautiful. Even though her eyes were red and rather puffy when she left, I caught a glimpse of that very rare smile of hers as she started to leave.
I have a lot of hope in her for the future.
Too Many Worries
July 12th, 2006 at 9:38 am | Comments |
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It’s been fairly quiet around here since Hatori-niisan’s last check-up. Actually, he told me all about what happened between Akito and Tohru Honda. I’m really glad! that both of them will be all right. But I still haven’t seen Akito around here, so that could mean any number of things.
Since Tohru Honda’s in the hospital as well! I wonder if that means Arisa will be visiting? Well, I suppose it’s inevitable. I’d race myself for another meeting, but there’s! so much! that could happen! between us. I’m not sure what I’m expecting! she may even decide not to come visit me. I’ve caused her a lot of pain. It’s probably a good idea if we never meet again.
Arisa aside! I am a little worried about what will happen between Akito and I when we meet again. I! don’t blame her if she truly hates me, but if she doesn’t! after what Hatori-niisan told me! I wonder if she’ll start hating herself?
The damage to my back! Hatori-niisan says I’m very lucky I’m not paralyzed. He’s not sure how permanent the damage will really be! but! I’ll have to walk with a crutch – a cane – for most of my life, or until the damage heals enough. It’s scary to think about. I don’t want Akito to find out, it’ll be just one more thing she’ll guilt herself over! but there’s no way to keep it from her.
A cane, hm? I’ve seen older gentlemen walking around with them in the park from time to time. Heh, does this mean I’m getting old? When Hatori-niisan told me! his eyes were very! sad.
I don’t think there’s any way I can continue to stay on the Estate without making people feel some sort of guilt. I wish! that wasn’t the case.
